Tubwira aho amakimbirane hagati yabavandimwe na bashiki bacu baturuka (nuburyo bwo kubiyobora)
Birasa nkaho urwango hagati yabavandimwe na bashiki bacu bahoragaho, tutitaye kuri icyo gihe cyangwa mugihugu bakura. Nyina w'abana babiri n'umunyamakuru The New York Times Jessica ashimangiye kugira ngo amenye impamvu Siblilingi azishimira, n'uburyo bwo kugabanya umubare w'intambara yamaraso mu miryango itanamo. Yahinduye ingingo ye hamwe no kugabanuka guke.
Mu gihe cy'ikipone, mu myaka ine n'umunani, mu myaka ine, twateraniye nkaba mbere: Ndumva inshuro nke nimugoroba, gusetsa biva mucyumba cyabo. Ariko umwanya munini abakobwa banjye bamaranye, niko barushaho gutongana.
Kenshi na kenshi, abana banjye batongana hashingiwe ku karengane cyangwa mu rugamba ahantu hanyuze kumurongo.
Gutongana cyane kuva aha niki cyabaye iyi kugwa, igihe twazaga gukingira ibicurane. Abakobwa bamaranye kubera uwo uzabanza gukingirwa. Umukobwa wanjye mukuru "yatsindiye" mu makimbirane, ariko mu gihe yegeraga ibiro by'ikingo, amenya ko urukingo rumeze neza.
Muri iyo minsi, iyo twese dufunze hamwe murugo, kandi amahano azakura mu kinamico nyacu, kandi aho tutangiriye guhangayikishwa na bo, aho ahantu hamwe n'ababyeyi twahindutse rwose, kuko twemera ko turenze urugero . Ariko, niba wemera énin vivon, umwarimu wa psychologiya yava muri kaminuza ya New Jersey, wiganye urwango hagati yabavandimwe na bashiki bacu, hanyuma "irushanwa riri hagati ya barumunawe ni ikintu gihari. Kandi twe nk'ababyeyi ba Siblililinigv n'ababyeyi b'abana, dushobora kugerageza kubyihanganira ibishoboka byose. "
Ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko amakimbirane hagati ya barumuna ashobora kubaho inshuro umunani kumasaha (hafi. ED .: AAAAAA!). Ubundi bushakashatsi bwerekanye ko umubano hagati ya bashiki bacu hafi, ariko babiri barimo abavandimwe, amakimbirane menshi.
Umubare w'amakimbirane yagabanijwe mu gihe cy'imisoro, basa nkaho bahuje. Abana bato kandi bo hagati nigihe kigoye cyane muri gahunda igiye.
Mark Itan Ferberg, umwarimu wa kaminuza ya Pennsylvania, umushakashatsi mu bijyanye n'ubuzima bw'umuntu no guteza imbere
Mu bushakashatsi, hamwe na bagenzi be ni byiza cyane, bivugwa n'igitabo cy'Itangiriro, kirimo "inkuru z'ibanze ku muco wo mu mwuka w'iburengerazuba." Hariho ibibanza byinshi kubyerekeye abavandimwe benshi bafite amaraso kandi bishesha ishyari - urugero, kuri Kayini na avele cyangwa ibya Yakobo na barave. Kandi izi nkuru zose ziragaragaza "insanganyamatsiko abashakashatsi biga muri iki gihe: ibikorwa byo kwigisha, urugamba rwo gukunda ababyeyi nubutunzi, bakura abana mumakimbirane yababyeyi."
Guhangana hagati yabinzi bibaho kera cyane ko hashize imyaka magana ashize, abana bapfaga cyane cyane, abana bari munsi yimyaka itanu bafite abavandimwe cyangwa bashiki bacu bakuru bapfuye bafite agace kanini kabishoboka. Aba bapfuye bari bafitanye isano cyane na "umubare w'indwara zanduza abana mu miryango, ibiryo bidahagije bya nyina kandi birashoboka ko ari mu rugamba muri rusange kubabyeyi." Ishuri rya Londres ryumuti wisuku nubushyuhe. Kumenya, natangiye kureba mu buryo butandukanye no gutongana kw'abana banjye kubera ice cream.
Kandi nubwo ubu inzoka nyinshi ntabwo zirwanira ibinyobwa bisanzwe, uhereye kumikoranire ya psychologiya, ayo makimbirane akora intego runaka: bafasha abana kumenya ko bafite umwihariko kandi udasanzwe, muyandi magambo, mu bundi buryo . Abana barashaka ko ababyeyi babo babitayeho cyane, nk'uko ba alvan, bazahora barwanira imyifatire idasanzwe kuri bo ", ugereranije n'abavandimwe. Ariko usibye ibi, inyungu zabo ninyuguti zabo birashobora gushingwa mubuhanga n'ibyifuzo bya Siblittov yabo.
Kurugero, tuvuge ko umuhungu wawe w'imfura ari inyenyeri yumupira wamaguru. Umwana muto cyangwa abana barashobora kwirinda umupira wamaguru cyangwa kubera ko batinya ko batazaba beza nka murumuna wabo, cyangwa kubera ko batinya ko bazamurusha - kandi ntibari biteguye ibyago. Cyangwa birashoboka ko bombi bazaba mukipe yumupira wamaguru, ariko imfura - kuko akorana umwete, kandi umuto - kuko azinjiza ukomoka muri urwenya rwaho.
Nubwo amakimbirane hagati ya barumunawe ateganijwe rwose, ibi ntibisobanura ko udashobora kubagiraho ingaruka. Hano haribisabwa bitanu byinzobere kuburyo bwo guhangana nabana babanziriza.
Itegereze ibitera amakimbirane.Umwarimu wo muri Savil Mu Bevil, Sally Bevil mu bushakashatsi agira ati: "Witondere ibisanzwe mbere yuko amakimbirane azakura."
Kurugero, niba abana bawe batongana buri gihe, iyo bakina imikino yo kuri videwo, babe hafi iyo bicaye kugirango bakine. Umva amagambo yihariye nibidahwitse kugirango umenye ibisa neza kandi ugerageze gutabara mbere yuko ibintu bitagenzurwa.
Ubafashe kwiga gukemura amakimbirane.Abantu bose bamaze gutuza, bagerageza gukanda abana banyu bakaganira ku kibazo "nta kirego no guhamwa," Fenergg. Uhe buri mwana amahirwe yo kuvuga, utabibangamiye, kandi utumire buri wese muri bo gutekereza uburyo bwo gukemura ikibazo.
Mu bihe by'ishuri rito, abana barashoboye "gushima kuri ibyo byemezo ari ingirakamaro kuri buri wese, kandi ayo mahirwe azakora kandi azane umunezero mu bihe bizaza." Ni ngombwa kandi kubigisha gusubira mubibazo mugihe ibyemezo bimwe byahagaritse gukora.
Bashime na gato, ariko unenga wenyine.Umuhigi agira ati: Niba abana bawe bagaragarije ineza hagati, "bashishikarize cyane kandi cyane." Kurugero: "Nkunda ko wemereye mushiki wanjye tukajyana!" Ariko niba ubitsembye, gerageza kubikora kugirango undi mwana atakumva, kuko ubundi ashobora kuyikoresha nk'intwaro.
Umukobwa wacu w'imfura afite amahirwe yo gufungura mushiki wawe muto ("ibuka, Mama yavuze ko udashobora gusimbuka muri sofa!") Nakiriye rero iyi nama kuri konte yanjye.
Gerageza gushaka ibihe byose binize.Imiterere n'inyuguti z'abana bawe birashobora kumera, kandi ntibishobora kuba. Bombi barashobora gukunda kubyina, kandi wenda umuntu akunda kubyina, undi arashaka gukina chess. Umuntu arashobora kuba abungabukira, undi, mubinyuranye, ubwo bwisanzure - urukundo. Janin Vivon agira inama ati: "Gerageza gushaka amasomo rusange yemerera abantu bose kwerekana guhinduka, kandi icyarimwe bakomeza umubano."
Nazanye nimugoroba nimugoroba tureba firime nkimwe muri aya masomo, ariko twavuze ko mubisanzwe tujya igihe cyo guhitamo firime tureba, kuko buriwese ahora atongana.
Kuba bisaba igihe kinini ntigisebanya ku kuba hari ikintu cy'agaciro, ". - Uzahura namakimbirane, ibi ntabwo birindwa.
Kubera iyo mpamvu, twese turirimba hamwe, tuvugana, tukarya popcorn, kandi abana bacu bahabwa ubumenyi bwingenzi, kurugero, nkubushobozi bwo kubona abantu "inkuru yinkuru" kuriga igihe cya cumi na gatanu.
Inama idasanzwe kumwanya wicyicaro.Umuhigi agira ati: "Twese dumarana igihe kinini mu rugo, cyane cyane mu gihe cy'itumba. Ati: "Ntekereza ko amwe muri ayo makimbirane afatika mu gukemura, atanga abana gutembera cyangwa kwiruka ku nzu."
Abana bahinduka ubwoba mugihe bamaze igihe kinini mumwanya ufunze, bityo rero imyitozo ngororamubiri - niyo yaba ari inzu yinzitizi zakozwe mu musego, "bizafasha kurangiza uko ibintu bimeze," bizafasha kurangiza ibintu.
Uracyasoma ku ngingo
Ijambo "umuvandimwe" risobanura abana b'ababyeyi bamwe - abavandimwe na bashiki bacu