The child is choking sobbing, riding on the floor and kogotit hands and legs on the ground. And you want to fall asleep under this very land - from pity for yourself and child, helplessness, despair and shame (if people look). At such a moment, you are ready to do anything: to promise fulfillment of all the desires, to be forced, threaten, intimidate, if only it stops. Although in fact most likely you would like to lie next and also to fill.
Hysterics is normalNot in the sense that it is necessary to encourage it or not to try to prevent. And in that it is not necessary to demonize the hysteries and fear them. The child is vitally important to convey its feelings and emotions to the parent, it is important that he was heard, paid attention to him. If the child is not noticed, he will just not survive. And since not only to formulate, but also to realize his feelings of the baby is not able, he expresses them as he can. Including through hysterics.
Hysteria is always a messageOften the true cause of hysteria lies not where we are looking for it. Hysteria can cause anything - from a non-close toy to the impossibility of touching the sun. But what is becoming a hysterical trigger is not always its reason. The child can be hungry, frozen, non-liberated - physiological causes of hysterics are much more common than you think. Remember yourself when you are hungry - everything around infuriates, I don't want anything, and you are ready to kill everyone who gets on your way to food. Only you give yourself a report in what is happening, and you can control yourself. And the child is not. He feels that he is bad, but can not understand what exactly is not. As a result, everything is not so becoming, discontent accumulates and flows into hysterics.
Emotions are firewood that feeds the hysterical bonfire. Want to extend her for another half an hour? Ok, start screaming, swear, writing to conscience. And on the contrary: if you manage to keep calm, hysterics will stop faster.
Not time for upbringingYes, read the morality beating in sobbing baby is not the best idea. If only because he does not hear you and does not perceive. For him now, what your speech is that the buzz of mosquito is still. At the time of hysteria, the child reacts not to words, but on actions and emotions.
Give you to know that you are nearShow the baby that you are near and ready to help. No need to hug forcibly if the child breaks out. Just approaching nearby to be on the same level with the baby, and not hang from above, and let me understand that when he cope with emotions and will be ready to communicate, he can count on you. Say a calm, sliding voice.
Give you to know that his feelings are importantRepeat that you understand anger / offense / discontent baby that he has the right to his feelings that you do not scold and do not condemn it, but you want to help. Offer together to come up with a solution to the problem. When the degree of hysteria subsides, the child will be able to take part in the discussion, and it is likely that you will think about solving the problem together.
Be confident but not toughYour task is to give the child a solid soil under the legs at the moment when all landmarks are mixed for it. Therefore, even if you're not sure if you are also offensive and scared, if you do not know what to do, do not show it. This is generally the whole essence of the parent, and at the moments of hysterics, it manifests itself especially brightly. If you are unable to satisfy the desires of the child, talk about it directly, but calmly. No, we can not buy this typewriter, it is too expensive. No, the sun will not go down from the sky so that you touch it. If you need, repeat it several times, and then offer the child to come up with an alternative of what could please him.
Sharp actions and loud cries can only help in an emergency. For example, when a child beats in hysterics on the road, and a car rushes directly on it. Then just enough and run, not explaining anything.
And in all other cases - calm, only calm, as Carlson bequeathed to us.
LEE MURRY image from Pixabay website