A young woman at the playground drank a stroller with a baby and parallel complained to the next girlfriend, whose child ahead of her older played next to the sandbox:
- Son is only two months old, and I have already exhaled. I called my mother, they are not released from work. Nania would hire, yes no extra money.
- And husband? He, it seems like a flexible schedule works, can help, - responded the second girl.
- Yes, you! I didn't even start him in the room, until the son of forty days was fulfilled! And now I do not give - dad, even the diaper will not be able to change.
In this short conversation completely reflected two maternal positions. One mother believes that help with a newborn child is not a fatherly case and better cause a grandmother. And the second is convinced that it is Pope that is able to become a full-fledged partner in the education of the Son.
In the modern world, where they rarely meet the grandmother of the retirement age, the second position is more viable. Public installations are gradually changing. Nowadays, who is on a par with a mother, he has been engaged in children, no longer a hero without a raincoat and masks (well, or still in a mask, medical), but quite a familiar phenomenon.
Why attract your father to upbringing a child from birth?
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Often it is the main or even one way to unload a young mother. In the process of establishing breastfeeding and life with a child, women get tired much more than show.
They lack sleep, they often do not have time to eat, a hormonal storm is raging in the body, the fact of the presence of a child has not yet been met in the head. In these first weeks, Dad is simply needed, which is capable of changing the baby diaper, help when bathing and take part of the duties on the housework.
Moms in recent years have not always been allowed to "sit on the decree". Women are actively mastering remote professions and often they do not cease to work even with a newborn baby in their arms. That is, the load on them increases at times. Although, of course, the presence of a variety of home appliances is largely helped.
In recent decades, men themselves have changed. More than those who are on their own initiative participate in partnerships. Many are ready to take care of the baby even to a greater extent than women imagine. Of course, the role of Mom in this matter was and remains the lead.
Father, at a minimum, will not be able to feed the breast. But, for example, changing the diaper is a question of having skill. Moms are also not born with this knowledge, everything comes during a workout. Pople sometimes does not even have a chance to learn.
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Therefore, it would be good for pregnancy to configure yourself to the partnership. You can properly discuss duties in advance. Agree that a man takes a vacation at work and close to the help of the spouse born.
For example, the mother will stand breastfeeding, restored after delivery, to provide a newborn tactile contact to the maximum.
At this time, duties can be:
- apartment cleaning (only without fanaticism and daily washing of all surfaces with chlorine);
- Buying products;
- Preparation of simple dishes;
- Preparation of bath for bathing newborns;
- hygienic procedures in turn with mom;
- cooking bottles with a mixture if the baby is on artificial feeding;
- Contact with relatives, while the young mother is not emotionally stable;
- Walking with sleeping baby so that the wife can sleep or walk alone.
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The latter is one of the main tasks of the Father. Young mother must need a little time for himself. So that she spent him not on life, but for high-quality rest. Without such a reboot at some point there is an emotional burnout. This pit is easier not to fall than then get out of it.
Another important reason for the participation of Pope in the upbringing of the kid from the first days of life is to strengthen the relationship between them.
Father attachment differs from the maternal. Mom hits the child to nine months, gives birth, feeds, cares about him - all feelings on the deep level are already laid. Pape this love is necessary to cultivate. It will be no less strong, just comes later.The earlier a man starts to be interested in the baby and do it, the faster he will love him. And this applies not only to native children.
How dad stop afraid of a fragile baby
Often, men refuse to help mothers with kids, because they are afraid to even take such a fragile and easy creation.
- Suddenly I will give it up! - A young father was completely serious, when a nurse perinatal center was trying to give a newborn daughter with a solemn discharge.
He was able to overcome the fear of the only three months of the girl. Prior to that, she tried under any pretext to stay away from the cradle with a crumb. In the fight against such male installations, the best help is supported by the woman itself. No one can strengthen the strength and determination of the strong half of humanity, like loving wives.
Many mothers worked wonders, just sincerely asking the Dads about help and adding:
- I know, no one will cope with our child! Passing it, please, and I still go to the shower!
Mama at such moments should be remembered that even if the hygienic procedures are not perfect, the criticism will not be appropriate. Father also has the right to learn. But sincere gratitude is very desirable.Gradually, the fear of the crumb will leaving, giving way to the joy of communicating with his son or daughter.
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Gradually, the child will grow up and the dad will be able to connect what they get better. We are talking about physical active games. Men are the best animators for their children.
Moms are almost always doing something in parallel, and the dads can spend time with kids as high quality as possible. People and after many decades remember these moments of games with parents, even if they were not very frequent.
The great role of the father in the formation of personality
In addition to all these moments, a few material sentence, there are also deeper reasons for the full participation of fathers in the raising of children.
Father, who is not less than the mother is busy in order for the baby to be good and comfortable, as if he tells him:
- You are important to me. I'm interested in you. I need a relationship with you.
The child does not understand the words, but he perfectly feels the emotions of the two most important adults for him - Moms and Pope. When he feels love and care of both, grows his confidence in the world.
In the future, a person will be much calmer to perceive difficulties. He is already convinced of his importance. If the relationship with the Father was not close, then in adulthood there is a risk of entering the conflict with all the figures similar in the level of the authority: bosses, power, etc.
For the boy dad is an example of a man in which he himself will grow. Watching the relationships of parents, he gets a model on which his family will be formed.
Therefore, dealing with your son, Dad makes a great contribution not only to his life, but also in the upbringing of your future grandchildren. The boy will try to become the same good father, which was his own.
For the girl dad is also very important. If the mother is love and care, then dad is a support and protection. It is from the father who depends the self-confidence of a woman and how she will choose a partner.
The one who wants the perfect son-in-law should first be an ideal parent for the girl. In addition, daughters are very important from birth to be under the protection of his father. Then she will feel confident in any team.
A man does not always represent that, measuring the temperature of the water in the bath today to get the baby, he already forms his future.