Aggression in young children is a kind of battery ..
"In every small child, and the boy, and the girl, there are two hundred grams of explosives, or even sheltered ..." - remember words from a wonderful children's song? - Let's talk about how this "explosive" behaves in children is 1-3 years old, namely child aggression at this age.
Adult and children's aggression.
Aggression in young children is a kind of battery, a charge that is for its power and content can destroy something, and with proper redirect it can even create something and bring benefits and child, and parents.
We, being adult people, we can say: I'm angry, annoyed, I would like to break it / it, destroy - that is, to voice and understand what state is experiencing. And raising in society, we absorb certain norms, standards and forms of expression of emotions, states.
The experienced feeling we can express in some kind of action. Or not to express, but simply analyze in yourself. For example, the daughter-in-law is difficult to develop relations with mother-in-law, it is unlikely that a normal woman will harm the physical harm to mom's husband. The daughter-in-law is likely to "digest" his discontent, giving a state of state in words, quarrels, telling about this girlfriends, complaining to her husband. In young children, this process of resentment and anger is more difficult, they still do not understand their condition, can not be called what they feel in 1-1.5 years. If a two-year-old baby hit the bed, in response, he can knock her down because she caused him pain
Aggression after a year is a reaction to some circumstances, situations, things, it is amenable to change. After a year, the active process of developing peace, people, interaction and contacts begins. Something is already good. It turns out to be done - collect pyramids, cost the turrets, but the box you like can not work. And as a result - irritation, discarding this unnecessary box and indignation.
5 important if:- If the baby does not work out something (dress, interact with a toy, drive a fork) and it begins to be angry, it is important to parents at this moment at this moment, do not take the subject of indignation, but to offer help and show it as better and more convenient to do it. Only show, but do not do for the kid. And in the future to stay near and support.
- If you see that in the process of a movable game, the child is stamped, it allows you to flop you in the game in the game, laugh, ignore the request - stop the game, say that we do not play so, and switch to a calmer type of activity (creativity, work with bulk material , picking up puzzles).
- If the baby is angry, outraged by your actions, try not to laugh in response, do not provoke it further, help him switch to the game. For example, a child of two years is in the kitchen and requires cookies from Mom. And time to lunch remains a bit. In response to Mother's refusal, he begins to be angry. It is best to offer something unexpected for a child at that moment (to help clean the bulb, put two bowls and show how you can switch the croup and t.).
- If the child anger is accompanied by a cry, hysterical, he begins to throw toys, it is important for parents at this moment to voice the condition of the child and say: "I understand, you are angry, you need to calm down." And then try to find out the cause of anger. If the child is pushed in response, it kicks, it is best to leave the child for a while one safe and go out into the next room without closing the doors and continue communication with the child only when it becomes calmer. And praise it at this moment.
- If someone from parents or loved ones permits physical punishment against a child, then it is not worthwhile to be surprised by the process of cleaning and repetition of the same actions towards parents or children. Senior children who are brought up with the help of physical punishment, most often express their protest, using the force against younger children, thereby making it clear that the eldest can hit the younger (because mom and dad are given such an example).
To reduce the level of aggression in children aged 1-2 years, there will be gaming methods that are subject to each parent and do not require special skills.
- "Grozny", "Hmuray" (or how to think) a pillow, a pear or a ball (phytball, for example) for aggression or an inflatable toy - hammer, a double. We use them to exit aggression and accumulating tension in children. But in no case we do not even give an inflatable hammer to beat up the soft toys, as well as in the game of someone from relatives and children. Only non-living subjects. Usually such a splash acts well on the child and it becomes calmer.
- Ordinary paper or newspaper. They can tear them, make some of them lumps, throw these lumps in the basket, roll. It should be explained that it is possible to tear it, and attempts to break the books to warn and explain what to do bad. Pieces of torn paper can be used for crafts. For example, print on a printer or draw a picture of bird feeders or pastries, smear the appropriate glue field, and small pieces of paper that narrowed the child, sprinkle or gluitive with parts. And after praise the child for a wonderful picture.
- Playing anger in the game. You can play a play with dolls and toys for a child, where the "evil bear", the "gloomy cat", which hurts and offends, appears on the script. And during the action, explain that it comes badly, as it hurts for other characters, as they do not want to play and how it is as a result, it becomes good, and it regrets.
- Creativity is a very successful way to discharge accumulated children's aggression, discontent and irritation. Plasticine is useful, salt dough, the mass for modeling - all these are wonderful materials for the expression of emotions and states, including negative. Lepim, together with the child, a condition, for example, a hedgehog or barrier and then offer to the baby to decorate it, add details, convert.
- Water is a good sedative. Using this method, it is worth considering order in the house and the ability to play with water without consequences in the form of large puddles and wet carpets. It is best to do it in a bathroom in a comfortable basin. You can offer a child to hit the soap foam, overflow water from one vessel to another, from one mold to another.
The child at this age most often causes the pain unconsciously. He actively mastering his body, the body of close and surrounding people. And habitually aggressively perceived by adult "cuckoo-biting" for him can be akin to the game with a ball, which when interacting turns out to be rolling, removed and jumps. But this does not mean that such attempts to make the baby do not painfully communicate attention.
Step 1. Do not repeat the actions of the kid in the response, try not to laugh and do not smile in response;
Step 2. To speak every time a child confidently, calmly - "so do bad", "Mom / Dad hurt (Bo-Bo)";
Step 3. In response to offer "Let's better stand Pope / Mom" and show how you can stroke on the hand of a loved one, hug;
Step 4. Work out a single tacty of behavior with all those close with the child, if he is kept, biting and t d. An undesirable situation when mom and dad say "badly", and grandparents are smiling or not paying attention to such behavior.
At the age of two years, children's irritation and anger are often connected to the prohibitions. There should be no bans 20, 40 or more. There must be a limited number: it is impossible, because "painful" or "dangerous". You can add phrases "Ay-ah", "Chi Chi", which will warn the child in advance that he does something wrong. For children after 1.5 years, it becomes important to voice his emotions and states - "You're angry", "You don't like what you pushed", "You are unhappy that I have banned it" and feedback in the form "I understand you", " Let's try to fix together, "if you do so, it will be ...". And it is also necessary to make a clear formation of the boundaries of the permitted: if the mother / dad said "no", then shouting, anger to achieve the desired is impossible.
Step 1. At the moment when the child throws the next toy in a gust of anger, it is worth approaching him, go down to the level of his eye, to gently take the hand and say: so do bad. We do not play with toys. And then try to switch, and in the future it is necessary to propose to fold the scattered toys. If the child refuses to do this, use game techniques, such as put on a toy doll to the hand and ask for a toy to help mom and then praise. Or give one of the scattered toys to the child in hand and in the game form of rivalry suggest coming to the faster to the basket with toys. In such a situation, the result is important: so that at least a few toys the child himself put in place.
Step 2. If a child does not work out something, to offer his help and show how to fix the situation, and then only accompany the child when it performs an action, and encourage.
Step 3. When the child is pushing, he pulls - stop and explaining why you can not do so. If in response, the child laughs, continues to fight, go to another room and when he calms down, explain that if you behave like this, then you will play alone.
Children's aggression at an early age is a fairly frequent phenomenon, and it is not necessary to be afraid. The most important thing is to be attentive to your child and try to pick up individual "keys" to him in time.